Food, vet visits, insurance, toys, the emergency visit when he ate a crayon, the smart water fountain he ignores, the slow feeder bowl he flips, the green beans, the measuring cup, the digital scale, the enzyme cleaner for the rug, the new rug after the enzyme cleaner failed, the second new rug after Gus ate a hole in the first new rug — I added it all up. I used a spreadsheet. Of course I used a spreadsheet. I'm an IT guy. I have spreadsheets for everything. I have a spreadsheet for my spreadsheets.
Total: $2,399. I rounded to $2,400. Because $2,400 sounds cleaner. Because $2,400 is the number I tell people when they ask "how much does a dog cost." I say "about $2,400 per year." They say "that's a lot." I say "it's less than a car." They say "you don't need a dog." I say "I need Gus." They don't understand. I don't expect them to understand. Gus is not a line item. Gus is a family member. But family members have costs. And I track the costs. Because I'm me. Because I track everything. Because tracking is how I show love. It's weird. I know it's weird. But it's my love language.
The Pet Cost Estimator lets you compare scenarios. Scenario A: budget food, no insurance, no toys. $1,200 per year. Scenario B: premium food, comprehensive insurance, regular toys. $3,000 per year. Gus is Scenario B. Gus is always Scenario B. Gus deserves Scenario B. I am Scenario A for myself. I eat budget food. I have no insurance. I have no toys. But Gus has premium food and insurance and KONG toys. Because Gus is better than me. Because Gus is worth it. Because I love him more than I love myself. This is probably unhealthy. I don't care. I'm healthy enough. Gus is very healthy. That's what matters.
I built the calculator because I wanted to know. Because I was curious. Because I was anxious. Because I needed a number. The number is $2,400. The number is not scary. The number is manageable. The number is worth it. The number is Gus. The number is love. The number is a spreadsheet cell. The cell is green. The cell is good. The cell makes me feel better. Numbers make me feel better. I am a person who is comforted by numbers. I am also a person who is comforted by a golden retriever who sleeps on my feet. Both are true. Both are me. Both are fine.
If you're thinking about getting a dog, use the calculator. Input your numbers. See the result. Don't panic. It's just a number. It's a manageable number. It's a number you can plan for. It's a number that brings a dog into your life. A dog who will eat crayons. A dog who will vomit on rugs. A dog who will love you unconditionally. A dog who is worth every penny. Every single penny. Even the $150 crayon penny. Especially the crayon penny. Because that penny bought me a story. A story about a red crayon and colorful poop and a vet who said "non-toxic" and a dog who didn't know what he was doing but did it anyway. That's the best $150 I ever spent.
